Thursday 20 November 2014

Day 76...

TUESDAY 18.11.14 - I am thankful for... Prayer

Today was not a good day. There where a lot of little things that became a hassle and annoyance, and then there was one big thing. A person I considered a friend, and he considered himself a friend of mine, behaved in a way that was not ok. This was not the first time either, so this friend knew how I felt about such things, but still did it anyway. When I confronted him about it again, instead of apologising, he became very defensive and even turned it around to say he was offended by me. Historically I have not dealt with confrontation well at all. I like it when everyone is happy and hate to see people hurting or arguing. I would even have put myself last to avoid confrontation at all costs, swallowing my problems and not dealing with anything. That was the old me. The new me, from the journey I have taken this year, is willing to stand up for herself and what she believes in, even if this causes conflict between people she cares about. After I said my piece I decided to have a solid time of prayer, to pray to God over the situation, to let go of all that I was feeling. I realise that some of you reading this aren't the "praying" type, but maybe you meditate. What I have learnt this year is to acknowledge how you are feeling because that is your body's response to something, but don't let your feelings rule you, especially the negative ones because they just sit there, fester and become harder and harder to shift. After a little bit of time I felt an incredible peace. I was no longer angry or upset, I was able to let it go. Obviously this doesn't fix things, but it keeps my mind balanced so I don't act out of spite and hurt. Regardless of whether our friendship continues from here, I wish this friend nothing but the best in life. I harbour no hate or resentment, and that's an incredibly freeing thing. So I encourage you to pray or meditate about the negatives in your life. The terrible things you feel only effect you, no one else. You deserve peace and happiness and you can be the tool to give that to yourself, don' lt negativity change you.

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